Flotunda - Lo Fi *Not to Scale 2011

Here it is in all of its glory...

Big Screen Debut

Alright, maybe the title of this post is a slight exaggeration. But I can confirm that I will be in a TV commercial and on the website for Lavera skincare. Sometimes serendipidity swiftly swoops you up and I live for those moments. I have to give the background on this opportunity, because it registers in the "does this shit really happen to me?" category.

I have been in love with Lavera products since Tara McCauley introduced me to them over 6 years ago. When I became an esthetician, I vowed that I would someday work for this small, ethical and promising German company. To this day, I have been trying to get a job with them because as luck would have it, their US headquarters is in Kirkland. To no avail, I have pursued employment and gotten absolutely no HR love.

Okay, fastforward to Thursday before Memorial Day weekend '09. Those who know me would tell you that I screen my calls religiously. I was at work and I see a call come in from an unrecognizable number. Without hesistation I answer it and on the other end of the line is the charismatic voice of Deb Narine, producer for Spy Girls Productions. She goes on to tell me that she is shooting a commercial for Lavera and that a testimonial I had written on the Lavera website had caught her attention. She asked me to come down and do a screen test/audition. I could honestly not believe it, but I agreed to go along with it just for adventure's sake. So, I go down to their production offices and get buzzed in. After giving them my vital stats, they pull me in front of the camera and ask me to start talking about Lavera. Let's face it, I like to pose for pictures. But getting filmed is an entirely different scenario. I am deathly afraid of public speaking and have unbearable stage fright. Somehow, I was able to pull it together enough to not entirely flub it or embarass myself but I was certain that my film career would end right there in the production office.

By the time the weekend was over, I had kind of forgotten about it. As I'm strolling through Blockbuster Video on Tuesday night, I get a call from Deb Narine telling me that the client has chosen me to be a part of the commercial and that the director would be in touch to make arrangements for the shoot. Two days later, I show up to this awkward warehouse building in Georgetown with my three outfit selections and my Rescue Remedy. The whole thing was so much fun and it was eye-opening to see how something like this comes together. After I was done in hair and makeup, I started as a stand-in for a light meter reading. After signing several waivers, I finally got in front of the cameras. I jumbled a couple lines and had to start over, but other than that the hardest part of the whole thing was getting my hair to behave on HD camera. So, I walked out of there with $1,000 in product, $100 for my time and a bit of the stagefright chip on my shoulder shockingly disarmed.

I will get a copy of the commercial after it airs and it is set to test in California and then if it is received well, will air nationally. This is the first thing that I had "won" since I got first prize in a coloring contest for a bagel company in first grade. Back then it was a year's worth of free bagels. Now, I'm all grown up with my anti-ageing skin products. Summer sun...bring it! I have every sunscreen need met!! Thanks to everyone who propped me up and made me feel like a million bucks! As I had to say on camera..."I feel beautiful. And I deserve it."

New Treatment Room

I am very excited to be in my new treatment space in Fauntleroy. Housed in a private residence that overlooks the Sound and the ferry terminal, I find myself really sinking in and loving it! This photo were taken with my phone, but I am up and running and wanted to share it with my friends!

The Brighton Port Authority

Will David Byrne ever be uncool? Everything he touches turns to gold.

Lava Ladies

Party Crasher
A Roman Volcano Prom Erupts
by Jeff Kirby

"Prompeii" isn't just a party, it's an extravaganza. There are hundreds of people in beautiful costumes mingling inside a meticulously decorated club in the heart of Belltown. The theme is pretty loose, so the costume genres are somewhat eccentric: Mostly, the outfits are ancient-Roman themed, but there's also some Greek mythology, Lord of the Rings, and "gay" speckled throughout the crowd.

"Mount Vesuvius" is set to erupt. In the back of the club there's a large black cloth volcano surrounded by cardboard houses. For snacks there are bizarre but cute tater-tot mountains with blue flames shooting out the top. The "Catastrophe Cooler," which contains ginger-infused vodka that has been soaking for six weeks, is the drink special. The bartender lets people know that even though it doesn't taste very strong, it has been specifically engineered to fuck people up. The drinks sell out quickly.

At 11:11 p.m. the room begins to fill with an unbelievably thick cloud of fake smoke. Confetti rains from the ceiling and "Eruption" by Van Halen is cranked over the speakers. There's a masking-tape perimeter around the volcano—no one is exactly sure what's going to come out of it or if they're safe standing in the front row. Thankfully, it's not a giant mound of vinegar and baking soda inside: Three women in red dresses emerge and begin to trash the city of Pompeii. Everyone stands still, transfixed, as the lava women smash the shit out of the cardboard boxes, until one of them screams, "Start dancing!" and out of the flames and destruction a party is born. JEFF KIRBY

Crush it.

Not only has this phrase become a household staple, I have also taken a shine to crushing things...literally. Here I am with the illustrious and immensely talented "hot ashes" reigning our doom on the civilization of Pompeii. This performance piece came complete with smoke machines and the three of us jumping forth from folds of vinyl Vesuvius. Set to Ladytron's "Destroy Everything You Touch", we brought in the heat. And then flashed everyone. I have a bruise on my foot to prove the ferocity that was the hot ashes. Stick it.

http://flickr.com/photos/espressobuzz/2728987957/in/set-72157606522725996/

Sorry, folks. I didn't take the picture and it is copyrighted. Take the extra step and view this link.

Circa 1988

I wish it were 1988. I would be rockin' the inflatable neon recliner, drinkin' diet pepsi and getting nicely bronzed just like I am here...in 2008. Things, they stay the same. I could have totally used some bright pink zinc oxide sunstick this weekend. And a hypercolor t-shirt. I love Priest Lake. It is so choice.