Viva Las Vegas

Ah, Sin City. Last time I visited this desert destination was for a bachelorette party in 2004. I don't even remember that trip for the most part. I remember being really annoyed by the noisy slot machines and the idea of never really knowing what time it was. Generally speaking, I am not big on gambling. Yeah, I like a good game of five card draw or a heated game of hearts, but when it comes to betting money I usually shy away. So on this trip to Vegas to celebrate Tara's birthday, I was bound and determined to have a more, well, memorable experience. We rolled in late on Friday night and Naomi was waiting for us anxiously in our hotel room. By the time we actually got to the room we were pooped and called it a night. And three ladies pow wowing in our jammie jams sounded just about perfect. Saturday morning, we headed out on the strip to do some fantasy shopping at the Bellagio. Tara was wearing her "Where's Waldo" dress and she was cracking my shit up. We went on the Manhattan Express roller coaster twice and that little whipper snapper got me all revved up. We passed up the Prive party hosted by Rock of Love II's Kristy Jo and instead hit the gambling floor where even I stepped out and put a little money down. None of us could afford to go see Zumanity and so our mission was to go out and win enough money to cover the cost of our tickets. I won $70 bucks on a slot machine and even played a little poker. Naomes hit Texas Hold "em while Tara wandered around looking for Lobster Mania slot machines and got approached by a 70+ year old man who told her that she was beautiful and not to settle. After we had secured funding for the sexiest cirque show, we went to bed. Or tried to. Sunday was filled with Mandalay Bay's Shark Reef Aquarium and aimless wandering. I gotta say, Mandalay Bay is the big daddy of the casinos. There was a whole "race & sports" section of the casino floor that looked like the floor of the stock market or a control room for NASA. That shit was serious. No foolin' around there. They had like 10 different sports events projected on huge 12-ft. screens that were surrounded by stats, scores, etc. I have never seen anything like it. After we saw ze sharks, we picked up some road sodas and headed back to the hotel. We spent several hours getting all hyped up and hooched out. It was splendid. We then hurriedly had to cruise down to the show. We were up in the balcony but our seats were amazing. The show was extremely arousing and technically impressive. Just a few highlights: an aerial hooper, a contortionist who swims around in a fish bowl, a couple getting it on in a bathtub, an insane acro-balancer, lots of beautiful people and lots of real tits. I mean, there was nary an implant in that cast. We finally collapsed in our beds at about 3AM and prepared for our 5:45AM wake up call. I am oh so tired today. But my trip was just what the doctor ordered. Quality time with really good friends.